You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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