I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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