I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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