Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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