would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
