After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
