Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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