some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
