Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
God I need to hump something, right now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize