I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
