Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Randomize
