Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
