sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
