I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
