can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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