one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Drake has all the answers
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
