She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
worst night to have a conscience
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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