the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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