I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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