I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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