OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
