idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
