You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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