I need help removing her.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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