Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
