I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
