If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
