Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
