I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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