That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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