Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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