I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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