would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
