I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
