I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
