You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
