She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
