He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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