What did we do last night that was yellow?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
