She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
