ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
