I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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