I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
