Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
