he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
