North Korea, Best Korea!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
