Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
