dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
