She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
