My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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