first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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