Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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