Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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